Elves In The Shower
by goldnote
Summary: What will these girls do when the characters from their favorite book end up visiting them for a week? What will happen in the process of getting them home? Rated T because of humor... my first LOTR fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

_I wrote this fic many years ago. I think it was before the movie even came out, not sure. But, it's the prelude to "Pirates In The Pantry," a story my friend Pyraterose worked on a long time ago, too. My friend put in ideas, I wrote everything out, and I just found the notebook it was in (along with some other fics I hope to post soon...). So, because some of it is pretty funny, I am going to post it and hope for the best! This is far from being my best work! _

**Elves in the Shower**

Chapter One

It all began one day, like most things do. It was a simple day, the sun shinning, the birds waking everyone with their gossip. Alicia and I had a sleepover at her house. Being that her family and mine were out of town, what better reason to stay at her house for a week?

Anyhow, something happened that I could only have imagined. This is how my best friend, Alicia, and I spent a week playing host to the beings of Middle Earth.

"Do you want to shower first, or should I?" Alicia muttered, half awake and struggling to untangle herself from the covers.

"You can," I answered, watching Alicia manage to fall out of the bed. "But don't use all the hot water."

Several minutes later, as I was getting ready for my own shower, Alicia burst into the room, running into the door first, then tripping as she screamed: "ELF!"

"What?"

Alicia straightened up, clutched her towel tighter, put on a calm face and replied, "There are elves in the shower."

"An elf in the shower?" I replied skeptically. "You had-"

"No, not an elf. Elves. Meaning more than one."  
"Alicia, there is nothing in the bathroom."

"Yes, there is."

Still calm, Alicia picked up the nearest stuffed animal (a large moose) and quietly walked to the bathroom. Convinced Alicia had either found the sugar or gone insane, followed.

"Alicia, what's with the moose?"

"Protection."

"From what? The evil bar of soap?"

"No, from the elves."

Both of us, in towels and half awake, crept into the bathroom. The last thing I remember thinking was: "This was not a funny joke."

Alicia whipped the curtain back from the shower. There stood three people, well, characters, that we had loved from The Lord of the Rings.

Now, if I wasn't so freaked, I would have thought that three crazy people, dressed in rental costumes, had broke into the house just to hide in the shower. But, no. We were not that lucky. Elrond, Galadriel and Legolas stood there behind Alicia's silver sparkle shower curtain.

Nearly dropping my towel and remembering just in time that I was not dressed, I fled from the room, screaming. Alicia followed. Stopping in the hallway, I panted, "What next? Gandalf in the living room? Hobbits in the kitchen?"

Crash.

"I think so..." Alicia replied, still in a daze. Then, suddenly snapping out of it, she yelled, "The china!"

"What is this confounded contraption?" came a grizzled voice from the living room. Peeking over the banister, we saw Gandalf hit the television with his staff, leaving a large dent in the top. Gimli was laying on the couch, Alicia's dog, Oz, licking the top of the dwarf's large nose.

I screamed again, grabbed Alicia's hand, and fled to the closet. In the dark, we sat there, choking on the smell of old shoes.

"So," I said, trying to calm myself. "We have Gandalf hitting the TV, Gimli sleeping on the couch, Hobbits in the kitchen, and elves in the shower. Correct?"

"Um, is that your hand on my foot?" asked Alicia, "Because I feel something cold on my ankle."

"When was the last time you cleaned your shoes?" I asked at the same time. "They smell awful!"

"My precious..." crooned a voice in between us.

As I screamed, Alicia started whacking Gollum's hand on her foot and we fled again, this time to the room we started in. Boromir and Aragorn were there to greet us, however, Aragorn bouncing upon our bed and Boromir digging through the suitcase I had brought, wiping his nose on my favorite shirt.

And that is how Alicia and I ran out of the house and stood in the yard like fools in our towels, waking the whole town with my screams.

_That was the first chapter. I don't own The Lord of the Rings or anything associated with it. So, all the characters and Middle Earth things are not mine. I am just writing about them. Excuse me if I have made some spelling mistakes on the character's names. This is my only LOTR fan fic, so I don't write them down very often! Please review! I love reviews! This story is mostly to work on my humor, anyway... Thanks very much!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Here we go with Chapter Two..._

Chapter Two.

As soon as we regained our senses, we marched into the house, ordered everyone into the living room and got dressed, taking turns watching the group so that no one wandered off.

They explained to us that, somehow, in a certain council of the elves, everyone had been transported here, to Alicia's house.

"Why would you end up here, of all places?" Alicia yelled, stunned.

"It confused us as much as it confuses you, "Gimli said, patting the dog on the head.

"How long are you going to be here?"

"No idea."

"Great..."

* * *

Being Sunday, we had time to get everything in order before we would have to go to school. Alicia cooked lunch while I managed to tell everyone where they would stay to sleep. Turning them out of the house was not an option and they would have to stay somewhere. I ended up having Gandalf sleeping on the couch, Gimli with the four hobbits on the living room floor, Gollum staying in the closet, Boromir on the table in the kitchen, Aragorn in the hallway, and Legolas, who had come from the bathroom, saying that the two rulers had designated the bathroom as a secret study (which Alicia and I were not to enter), was made to sleep outside our bedroom door, on Alicia's orders.

"Why are you telling them where to sleep, now?"

"Because," I explained as Alicia made 'potstickers,' "I don't want to be up all night, finding blankets for a dwarf."

"Where are they all now?'

"I have Gimli and the hobbits playing with the dog, Legolas is in the secret study with Elrond and Galadriel, Gollum is now gnawing on a shoe in the closet, Aragorn is going through the things in the laundry room, and Boromir is... well, he is probably going through our own things."

"And the wizard?"

"Watching television."

Alicia laughed. "And he likes it?"

"Are you kidding? He loves it!"

"But why are you holding the controls?"

"Oh, well, to change the channel, he thinks he needs to whack the TV with the staff, so, I just changed the channel from around the corner when I hear crashing."

"And it works?"

"Yeah. He thinks he is in control of the 'Magical Box' and won't let anyone else touch it. Look!"

Alicia peered around the corner and saw Gandalf hit Sam's hand away as he reached up to touch the TV.

"Don't, my boy," he cried, looking important. "The box will suck you in like it did to those people!"

Alicia, turning to me, laughed so hard she nearly burned herself.

* * *

Potstickers were a huge hit. Except Boromir and myself, everyone ate them, the hobbits begging for more. Alicia promised to make more for dinner.

I was explaining to Gandalf about America and our world and how, even though they were on the TV, Power Rangers and Elmo were not real. I only confused him more by explaining that half the things on TV were not real. Finally, exasperated, I had Gandalf watch the news, where the hobbits sat, stunned by the weather lady.

Dinner, which was more potstickers, as promised, was followed by many laughs. Alicia decided she wanted to teach the group how to play cards.

"Okay, Boromir. Cut the cards."

At that, the warrior took his sword and slashed the deck in two.

After that, we were going to teach them a yard game. It went well until, after Sam said that he thought the lady in the magical box wasn't all that pretty, the hobbits decided to throw things at him.

* * *

By the time Alica managed to get everyone to where they needed to be for sleep, it was nearly midnight. I had just finished cleaning the kitchen and was down in the bedroom when Alicia came down and flopped on the bed.

"Just as son as I fixed Sam up and got everything put away, I found Oz in the closet with Gollum."

"Oh, Oz likes Gollum?" I asked, smiling. "That's sweet!"

"No, Gollum didn't like the potstickers and used them as dog-bait to catch Oz and eat him. The dog is now missing some of his fur."

"Poor dog."

"Yeah."

"We have school tomorrow."

"I know."

"What are we going to do?"

"Well, maybe we could take the hobbits with us," Alicia suggested, thinking.

"What would we do with them?"

"Stuff them in our lockers, I suppose?"

"Alicia!"

"It's just an idea..."

"I could asked the band director if I could borrow the keys to the back room and we could put them back there. They wouldn't get into much trouble there..."

"Let's do that."

_There we are with the second chapter! Mostly, this story came about because my friend and I had so many small ideas on how everything would go if this was real, and the story was created! Please review! I love reviews and it helps me decide if I should ever post another LOTR fic again! Thanks!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Chappie Three!_

Chapter Three.

The next morning, we arrived at the school very early and explained to the band director that we would need to bring some thing into the uniform room and we would like to borrow the keys. With the keys in our hands, we drove home, picked up the hobbits, and drove back.

We prayed that we would not find the police when school let out.

* * *

With Alicia driving, I managed to stick Merry into Alicia's backpack (after ripping everything out) and put Pippin in mine. Sam and Frodo would have to walk with us, posing as Alicia's younger brothers if anyone asked. We only hoped that no one would remember that they were really on vacation.

We managed to sneak them in through the side doors and were ten minutes late to class. We unlocked the uniform room door, stuck the hobbits in there, told them to be quiet, and gave them bottled water and left over potstickers.

The day was awful, involving tardies for both of us, checking on the hobbits between classes, taking bathroom breaks to make sure no one found out they were there, and Alicia managed to sneak them our lunch.

We called home during homeroom on Alicia's cell phone, realizing on the third ring that we had not explained the concept of the phone in general.

"You realize that they probably are freaking out hearing this ringing?"

"Oh, no! What if our parents call? What if someone calls and they answer?"

"Alicia... Well, our parents know we're in school right now and who would call us?"

"Still..."

* * *

By the time all of us got home, the hobbits were wearing most of the uniform parts fro the marching band room, including some of the color guard parts.

"Why were there color guard things in the uniform room?"

"Who knows?" I answered, trying to get a hat away fro Merry. "All I know is that I need to get these back to the school and clean up that mess before anyone goes back there."

The moment we entered the house, Alicia and I were stunned. We didn't think that they would keep the house perfect, but not nearly this bad, especially with the hobbits gone. Thing were broken, laying out, and, to our fears, the telephone was in pieces in the middle of the living room.

"What happened to the phone?" I cried.

"Oh," Gandalf explained, eyes never leaving the television. "Well, it made evil noises twice and then, when it happened a third time, I smashed it."

"Why? You had no right to do that!"

"You are very welcome for me banishing the evil spirits."

Sighing, Alicia threw away the remains of the phone as I took the band jackets, chains, and flags away from the hobbits.

_Chappie Three is Done! Oh, to the previous chapter, I don't own the Power Rangers or Elmo or the weather lady... I just needed to mention them... Sorry about not doing that sooner! I don't own any of this except my own original ideas; my friend even forgot I had this story until I called her and let her know I found it... Please review! Thanks!_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

At dinner, Alicia made the food while I cleaned. I also wrangled everyone to the living room (the table was too small to fit all of us and it was now Boromir's bed, anyway). As usual, Legolas brought food to the other elves and stayed with them in the meetings while we all ate. It was pizza that night, the best we could do. The hobbits had brought Boromir a band hat they had kept from me, and the warrior wore it proudly, the plume set wrong and the felt scratched.

* * *

Later on, Alicia introduced the hobbits to flavored sugar. I even tried to give Gollum some, but he was content with Alicia's shoes and Oz-fur.

The following day was even more exhausting...

To save time and to avoid getting detention, we decided to leave the hobbits at home with Aragorn, trusting him to take care of them.

Bad idea...

Loaded with homework, we dreaded going to Alicia's house, knowing the place would be a mess, but, with the hobbits, who knew what would be there?

* * *

"You ate all the food?" I heard Alicia scream from the kitchen.

"Me?"

"No, everyone else!"

"Well, don't come into the bedroom..."

"What did they do?"

"Well, Alicia, I think that we have a long night ahead of us..."

"Are you kidding me? We need to go grocery shopping! We need dinner!"

"You go and I'll clean. I'm good at it when I'm mad and I'm pretty ticked off right now!"

As Alicia grabbed the keys off the wall, I called out to her:

"Take someone with you! I don't care who!"

* * *

Alicia got back with Pippin an hour later, groceries in both arms. I had pretty much gotten everything clean, laundry drying and everything as normal as it could get. Once again, we talked in the kitchen, sending Pipping off to find the other hobbits.

"Was he good company?"

"He didn't beg for anything."

"Wow! That's really-"

"He just put what he wanted in the cart," Alicia uninterrupted. "I put nearly everything back, though, so we did end up with decent food."  
"Well, I didn't have much luck here, either..."

"Why?"

"Boromir and Aragorn were going around the house, sword fighting, Gimli was playing with Oz, Gollum whipping the shoelaces from your chewed-up boots against the closet door for fifteen minutes and then shreaking that he was hungry..."

"What did Gandalf do?"

"He has been watching soap operas all day. Apparently, he has been learning the names and problems of the characters and explaining it all to anyone who will listen."

"You know what we'll hear about during dinner, then..."

Suddenly, Alicia's eyes got big and she set down the can of peas she was putting away.

"What's the matter?"

"I need to use the tinkler!"

"The what?"

"The tinkler..."

And off she ran. I caught up to her, finding her dancing outside the bathroom door.

"The elves are in there. They have asked us to leave them alone!"

"Well, it's my house and I'm sick of going to the bathroom at school!"

"They let everyone else in there to use the bathroom; we can, too."

Bursting in, Alicia ordered the elves out of the room, slammed the door, and we all heard her sigh in happiness as the toilet flushed. Legolas came up to me and asked what that was all about.

"She needed to use the bathroom."

The three elves had figured out how to go back and the only possible time to transport was at the end of the week, the day our parents came back. Alicia had kicked them out of the bathroom to take a shower, throwing the empty plates and blankets into the hallway. The elves needed another secret study.

They ended up in the laundry room.

_That's the end... I don't know what potstickers are really called. If that is what their real name is, I don't own them! All I know is that they are an Asian food that I don't really enjoy. I kept the "tinkler" part because that is typical of my friend. That scene showcases her actual personality and I love her lots! Glomp. Anyway, please review! Thanks!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks to everyone who has taken a look at the story so far! Here we go with Chappie Five!_

**Chapter Five**

Dinner, which was more potstickers, went well. The hobbits were drooling over the weather lady (except Sam, of course), Gandalf was explaining the love between Jennie and Antonio and why they couldn't be together to Boromir, Aragorn was tempting Gollum with a spare potsticker, Gimli and Oz were playing with a tennis ball, Alicia was still in the shower, and Galadriel, Legolas, Elrond, and myself were talking about their plan to get home. I couldn't explain it to you: I barely heard a word, too busy staring at Legolas to listen properly.

All homework was pushed aside as, on the end of the second day, everyone already felt like they were a "fellowship."

* * *

Two more days passed, and two more tardies arose. The hobbits were put back into the uniform room, Alicia and I were late to all our classes, we had a near heart attack as Sam sneaked out to use the restroom and almost ran into the Art History teacher, and our homework wasn't done. We had circles under our eyes and I nearly fell asleep in the uniform room during lunch, watching the hobbits devour my meal.

That night, after sending everyone to bed, turning off the TV (I didn't want Gandalf to watch late-night entertainment and learn about loose women), I walked upstairs and sat on the top step of the stairs, spreading out my math homework. Alicia was asleep, her homework done and, after hobbit sitting all evening, fell asleep before she even changed into pajamas.

"I know how much trouble we've been," Elrond said, walking up the steps and sitting next to me.

"You and Legolas and Galadriel have been in the bathroom and the laundry room the whole time; Legolas is the only one we've seen since the day Alicia and I pulled back the shower curtain. Just tonight we have gotten to know you."

"And for that, I am sorry. So much for the politeness of the elves, I suppose. Since we have all figured out how to go back, we will enjoy the time we have with our two hosts. And, we will help you and Alicia make it look like we were never here."

"Thank you," I said, rather stunned. Then, I remembered Alicia and her little crush and asked, "Do you think that maybe Legolas and Alicia could spend a bit of time together? I mean, alone that they could talk without chasing after the hobbits or saving the dog from Gollum?"

"Like we are talking now?"

"Yes, I suppose..."

"I will see what I can do."

* * *

"My homework is done!"

"Yes, Alicia, you did it last night..."

"No! It's correct right now!"

"Yeah, Lord Elrond helped me with mine, too."

"I never knew an elf knew math."

"This is the first time we've met an elf, though, isn't' it? Oh, and Alicia? I'll clean tonight. You and Legolas need to have a chat."

Math homework went flying.

* * *

Friday went well, the hobbits cleaning up the uniform room and staying out of trouble. Neither Alicia or I were in trouble, received a tardy, and we both had 100 on our math homework! Thank you, Elrond!

Friday night, Jessica and Kimmie were going to come over, but Jess had to leave for a quick family trip and Kimmie was gone with her family, also, for the weekend, so it was just us at home again.

Gandalf was explaining TV to Gollum, who ventured out of the closet, tired of potstickers and, instead of listening to the wizard, was looking at the dog with a hungry eyes. Gimli and Oz, unaware of the danger, were sleeping on the floor, the two looking like equally hairy brothers. Galadriel was sitting royally on the couch, the four hobbits were eagerly anticipating the weather report, Aragorn and Boromir were down in our room, spraying each other and wasting our body spray, while Legolas and Alicia were sitting in the backward together as Elrond and I sat on the steps.

When the stars came out and everyone was snoring where they usually slept, Alicia came inside, looking as shocked as the day the elves arrived, clutching her cheek.

"He... He kissed-"

"Your cheek?"

"Yeah, this," she answered, pointing at her face.

"Well, everyone is sleeping. Tomorrow is our last day; they all go back in the morning."

"I know."

_There we are! One more chappie until the end... oh no! Please review! I love reviews! Reviews make me a better writer so everyone can read better stories! Thanks!_


	6. Chapter 6

_This is the last chapter! Thanks so much to those of you who read the whole thing! You all pulled through! Yippie! You made it! Please review and tell me what you think about all of it! Thanks so much!_

**Chapter Six**

It was Saturday. The last day of your visitor's stay and, surprisingly, we were going to miss them.

"Our final meal together," Alicia had had as she dumped the remaining potstickers onto plate.

"I am going to miss these," Aragorn answered, spearing one with his fork.

"I won't," Boromir said, pulling a face.

"In less than an hour, you'll be back in Middle Earth."

"Yes, Alicia, but we'll be here in spirit. Once you visit a place, you never leave. Your spirit is still there, with those who cared for you and let you stay with them. We will always be here."

"Elrond, you've been reading her books, haven't you?" Alicia asked, pointing a finger at me. Elrond winked and Alicia gagged.

"That was very nice, though," she said. "Thanks."

"Does everyone have everything?"

"I suppose so... It's about time to go."

Everyone was hesitant to get up and go to the shower.

* * *

Our goodbyes were sad, so I won't bore you with all of what was said, but it was really sweet.

The hobbits each got a 'treat' from the uniform room, what they would do with all of it, no one knew. After hugging them all goodbye, and promising to tell the weather lady hello for them if we ever saw her, they jumped into the shower, pulled the curtain, and were gone. Boromir was next and, after thanking Alicia and I, put on the band hat the hobbits gave him and disappeared like the hobbits had. Aragorn received a bag of potstickers and drug Gollum with him into the shower, who was making grabbing motions toward the dog, shoe strings in one hand. Gimli was nearly in tears as he hugged the dog goodbye, and bawled like a baby as he waved goodbye to us, holding the dog's tennis ball. Galadriel left us next. Although I had only talked to her in passing and Alicia had not talked to her at all (besides "More potstickers?"), she was still kind. She had been seen talking in a corner with Legolas earlier and, as she waved goodbye, gave Alicia a smile. Gandalf was pried from the TV and only after we promised him that we would try to find some means of correspondence to tell him whatever happened to Jennie and Antonio.

With all of them gone, that only left Elrond and Legolas.

After the two elves left, disappearing behind the silver sparkle curtain, Alicia quietly turned and, as she did, I caught a glint on her neck.

"Alicia, what is that?"

"Legolas gave me a necklace."

Then I understood what the smile was. Galadriel gave Legolas a necklace to give to Alicia. The beautiful silver and gold and green ivy necklace sat beautifully on her neck.

"It's so pretty!"

"He gave it to me, as well another kiss."

We stood there for a second or two, then Alicia broke the silence.

"We just said goodbye to elves, who have flirted with us, in a bathroom!"

At that moment, we heard familiar voices in hallway, our family and Kimmie and Jess, all calling, "Alicia! Where are you guys?"

As we left the bathroom, I whispered to Alicia:

"No one is going to believe that there were elves in the shower!"

**The End**

_Thanks so much! Once again, I own none of the LOTR characters, any of the TV things mentioned, and anything else that might have a copyright that I don't know about! Thanks again for reading! _


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